The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas (REVIEW)

A Critic's Meta-Review: 4/5

There is an age-old rule in the world of comedy that is centred around the number three; it holds that in this simple, single-digit number lies the secret to capturing the laughter of any audience, no matter what type of people it may happen to be composed of.

This can be seen in the likes of such endearing comedic classics as The Three Stooges, “The Three Blind Mice,” and the threesome that you had a few years ago that you’re still high-fiving your buddies about.

Ha! Comedy, baby - rule of threes!

Alright, enough flapdoodle.

My point is, of course, that there is obviously a very intricate formula at work here. But who is the architect of this formula? Who designed this triple threat of tickle-me-silliness?

I would argue that it was none other than the legendary French author Alexandre Dumas, in his seminal work The Three Musketeers (or, as he would have called it, Les Trois Mousquetaires...good luck pronouncing that one, though, pal).

One of the world’s most beloved adventure novels, The Three Musketeers has long since stood the test of time as a top choice among those with a fancy for the fanciful goings-on of swashbucklers and the like. You might be wondering why that is; well, as I have just explained (and if you were paying any attention, you would know this, man), it is due to the rule of threes.

At least, in part. There is, of course, one more reason. Care to guess? I will give you a hint - think checkout line. Liquor store or supermarket; it does not matter. You are bound to see it sitting, in crisp, radiant silver packaging somewhere on the shelf.

Give up?

The candy bar, stupid!

Alright, that was mean. I am sorry. Maybe you are watching your figure these days. It is easy to forget these things. Besides, it isn’t really even that good of a candy bar. Actually, I am not sure. I haven’t had it in a while. Come to think of it, it has probably been nearly a decade since I have had a Three Musketeers bar. They were never really my go-to. Now I am legitimately curious. You know what, that’s it. I am going to walk down to the corner store and grab one. I am far too invested in this now.

I will be back shortly with an update.

UPDATE: It was alright. I feel like I need to go for a jog around the neighbourhood now, though. Damn fructose.